Life can take you on unexpected turns and really shake you to your core.
My life was shaken yesterday.
Before I jumped into the important lessons I’ve learned, here’s what I finally realized after this experience.
I realized that life is fragile and you never know what will happen to your loved ones especially if you have taken them for granted that they will be around forever.
Peter woked me up in pain
I was woken up about 3.13 am on Saturday morning (NZ time) by my husband, Peter groaning as he was in terrible pain to the point he was screaming in agony. I had to ask him to go to the lounge so he wouldn’t wake the kids up.
I’ve given him ibuprofen but nothing seems to work. I’ve never seen him in pain like this before as his health is usually pretty good, so it was really frightening and fearful to see him like this all of the sudden.
Finally I had to call the ambulance for assistance and they finally came and whisk him off to the hospital. I didn’t even get to kiss him or say goodbye and in my heart I was thinking – what if I never get to see him again.
My mind was racing and thinking all sorts of bad things like what if he has a terrible disease or a life threatening one? I was in a such emotional turmoil and a total mess.
I tried to get some sleep. It was after 4 am but my mind just couldn’t shut off as I didn’t know what exactly was wrong with my husband. So I was laying in bed crying, praying and just waiting for Peter to inform me of the results.
Finally the sun came up and one by one my kids woke up. I was thinking about the right words to say to them about their father. I wiped away my tears and put a brave front so they couldn’t see how worried I was.
Finally, I told them that their daddy was in terrible pain last night and had to be sent to the hospital in the early wee hours of the morning, but daddy is going to be alright because he’s in good hands – was all I could say.
Want to show that you care? Give your dad a father’s day card.
I finally got the call
I finally got a text from Peter that they highly suspect that he’s got a kidney stone in his ureters. After more and more tests, the doctor confirmed about the kidney stone. Finally – we know what the problem is. It was a huge relief that it is nothing more serious than that.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Peter was still in terrible pain and doctors were topping him with pain relief every 2 hours and was told that he could go home on the same day (late afternoon) with some medication to recover at home. Thankfully, he’s on the mend although not a 100% yet.
And so the day begins with Peter not around to help with the kids like he usually does every morning – so I could sleep in and get my sleep (as I usually work at night to get some work done).
It feels weird not having him around.. but life has to go on. So I made the kids’ breakfasts, clean the dishes, tidy up, put away the groceries, prepare their lunches etc.
After we picked Peter up from the hospital, that’s when the REAL work begins. Due to his condition, upon arriving our home, he threw up suddenly all over the car, so I had to drop the kids and him home (so he could clean up) while I go out to get his prescription from the pharmacy.
I got home, cleaned the car, ordered dinner, bathed the kids, tidy up, got the kids ready for bed etc. Wow, what a day! Phew!
The sad realization
As the day progresses, I realized more and more how much work my husband has contributed in the home and how hard it is to do all of that while working full time as well. He has helped me with most of the work mentioned above and I realized how little I’ve contributed on my part because to be honest, he’s a sweet, gentle man and spoils me rotten when it comes to house work.
I mean it’s not that I can’t do all those things, but Peter just happily does it without being told and he doesn’t complain. When I think about it, I feel so ashamed and felt like I’ve taken him for granted for all these years and it really, really shook me and have come to a realisation that I can lose him anytime.
Even now, I am crying and I still feel shaken about what has just happened.
We cuddled and talked this morning. And with tears in my eyes, I told him how much I love and appreciate him for everything he’s done for me and our kids, and I will help him more around the house.
I’m not ashamed to share how much I love my husband and how much I love the family we have built together. He has really shown me what God’s true love is.
Unconditional. Un-calculative. Without reserve. Forgiving. Kindness. Compassionate. Gentleness. Generous. Unwavering.
Thinking about it, I realized how far I am from all of that. I begged God for forgiveness and ask Him to help me be a better wife and mother. I have a lot of shortcomings and I know I am not alone. We are not perfect, but we can be with God’s help.
What are the Important Lessons I’ve Learned?
I am sharing this with all of you today to tell you to stop taking your loved ones for granted. Life is fragile. Anything can happen. They are here today but can be gone tomorrow.
Yeah, just like that.
The same can applied to your children. You can read this post about what’s the greatest gift you can give to your child today.
Hold them, embrace them. Tell them you love and appreciate them and live life as if there is no tomorrow. The worst thing is to feel regret. Regret that you could’ve done better. Regret that you could have loved more or done more.
Don’t wait till something happens that you start changing.
Don’t live with regret. Love and give more now.
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